


Wolfe Detective Agency

by WaltD



Category: Nero Wolfe - Rex Stout
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-20 06:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/582256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaltD/pseuds/WaltD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TV/Radio Commercial based on a parody of the Frank Sinatra song, Call Me byT Hatch)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wolfe Detective Agency

**Author's Note:**

> The phone number is obviously not real. Don't try calling it.

Wolfe Detective Agency -- by Walt Doherty

 

TV/Radio Commercial: 

       Call Us, Don’t Be Afraid, You Can Call Us . . . .  


Need Help?  
Got questions you need answered?  
Have an unsolved murder on your hands?

Don’t dispair! Just call 1-800-Nero Wolfe

(Ask for Archie!)

[Music swells up, and we hear in the background:]

If you’re feelin’ sad and lonely  
There’s a service you can render  
Tell the truth to just us only  
We can solve your case and end ‘er.

CHORUS

Call us, don’t be afraid, you can call us  
Maybe it’s late but just call us  
Tell us and we’ll investigate.

When it seems your friends desert you  
There’s somebody on your floor dead, you  
are the only who never hurt him  
Now it’s charged that it’s you that killed ‘im.

CHORUS

Now don’t forget us ’cause if you let us  
We will always help you out  
You’ve got to trust us, that’s how it must be  
All you do is pay a “small” fee.

CHORUS

If you call we’ll be right with you  
Saul, Orrie, Fred or Archie will protect you,  
Take our word that we will rescue  
Just write that check and Wolfe will save you.

Remember the number is Beachwood 4 - 5 . . . .  
oops, wait a minute:

Just call 1-800-Nero Wolfe

That’s 1-800 — 6376 96533  
(Remember, Ask for Archie!)

 


End file.
